Monday night, very promptly after work I receive a phone call from Mr G. Instantly I was smiling reading his name display on my phone. It’s amazing how he manages to lift my mood. God I wish I was lying in his arms right now.
We spoke and laughed for the most part of the conversation, every now and then there would be small instances of silence, nothing really major, but it would be easy for anyone to identify something was not all okay between us.
He mentioned he would like for us to get together alone and talk, and asked if this could happen sooner rather than later, in the end it was agreed that we would have to wait until Sunday for this to take place. One week – arrrggh this has been eating at me, and it is only Wednesday. Fuck.
Anyway, apparently he wanted to sit down and say a few things he’s been thinking about. Now this can go two ways:
*One – to shit.
*Two – to love.
(Please let it be the latter)
Now, let me just outline a few things here:
*He admitted to me that he has been talking about me to his mates in a positive way since Sunday
*He stated a couple of times “It was REALLY good to see you“
*He wants to contact me throughout the week until we meet
In spite of it all seemingly to be positive, I can’t dismiss there is a possibility he could one day walk away from me by turning around and saying ‘you knew I never really wanted to get married’. This burns me. What do I do about this? (If this does presents itself again). Of course I know I am being presumptuous in thinking that he is wanting to talk about getting back together. I mean I did break-up with him twice, a person can only take so much.
He is the one who keeps coming back to me, it’s never been the other way around. I simply do not want to get hurt. This is a fear factor of mine to the max (despite the man).
Something that I’ve learned throughout my years is that most of the time it is the better the devil you know. I am over thinking it, I am I am. Need-to-stop.
I really truly deeply hope we can get back together. Somehow.